Shit-Mama or my swearing angel

My daughter is 4 3/4 years old and since she is born I see her as a magnificent mirror of what is going on for me. I want to share one of my recent enlightening.

We moved from Germany to Australia about 5 month ago. Maya has been very aggressive (hitting, kicking), frustrated and swear-y since then. Particulate the word “shit” was heard in our house frequently.  And it was very uncomfortable for me to be called “shit Mama”. In the beginning I tried to reason with her and explaining why I or my partner sometimes use the word when we are really frustrated or angry and that I would prefer not to be called “shit Mama” because it hurts and I would never call her things like that… of course it did not stop her…. Continue reading

Love withdrawal

From Love withdrawal to compassion with ourselves….

Punishment is something I feel really uncomfortable with. I do my best not to punish my child and I learn more and more not to punish myself.

However when I am feeling powerless I resort to the punishment of love-withdrawal. And it is not a very comfortable thing to do. I do hurt when I punish Maya (5 years). I withdraw my love as it was withdrawn from me. Continue reading

Why I do what I do

I was asked to write an article about why I love Aware parenting and Parenting by connection.

I would like to start with a bit about myself. I came to AwP when my daughter Maya was 11 days old. She did not stop crying after being strapped into a hip harness to allow her hip to aline better. We tried so many things to make Maya happy and content. I continuously tried to comfort her with breastfeeding, rocked and walked her and took drives in the car to abate her upset so that she might at last sleep for 15 min. We where exhausted after 2 days because she would not stop crying for long. She was distressed and so where we. Then I found the book “The aware baby” from Aletha Solter in a baby shop. I was relieved to find information about my baby that I did not know before. In Aletha’s book she describes, next to other things, the natural healing power of crying.
Babys heal with their crying, they are highly aware of their surroundings and take in information and need to let things out. Like they need to let out their poo and wee, they need to let out their excess left over feelings from their experiences in their day. The only and very effected way to do so, is to tell you about their life is to cry in your arms. Once their shared those feelings with you and feel again connected with you, they can move on to new experiences or to a deep and restful sleep. Continue reading